Resources
As social animals living within increasingly individualistic cultures, it’s important that we find ways to both co-regulate (learn to settle our distress with the help of others) and self-regulate (learn to feel steady by ourselves).
Sometimes there are trusted people available to support, inspire and soothe us, but for those times when you find yourself in need of prompts to manage your mood alone, here are some resources that might be useful.
Selves Compassion
These short reflections are a way to offer understanding and compassion to the different parts of us. We may notice that our self-talk has shifted into a particularly rigid mode of being, or that our defences are unable to shield us as they did before, leaving us feeling exposed. Sometimes we can sense when we have flipped into an inflexible mode of being or way of engaging with the world. Often we simply need to sit and be with these mindsets or aspects of self so that we can hear what they are trying to say.
Vulnerability:
Anger:
Impulsivity:
Over-Control:
Hypercriticism:
Detachment:
Pessimism:
Earned Security
Even though we do need other people to turn to and lean on, sometimes when we try to reach out, things can get in the way. Issues that interfere with our ability to bond with others, to communicate effectively or attune to one another, can make it so much harder to develop the nourishing connections we deeply desire. Some of us were offered love freely, with no strings attached as children. Others of us are invited to ‘earn’ our attachment security as adults so that we may be liberated from the limiting stories we re-enact.
